rounding the same mountain

Funny how, almost three decades in to this life-thing, I still struggle with some of the same issues. I suppose that on many levels, we all do.
One good thing? They’re more familiar with each passing. This time around I can recognize the odd mixture of excitement and melancholy of transition. It’s still affecting me, still pulling my mind and my heart in different directions, but its face is familiar. I’m not struggling to understand the basics this time – instead I’m getting to nitpick at the nitty-gritty. I have a chance to dig into which directions I’m being pulled instead of just trying to hold all of my pieces together.
Most of my birthdays in the past ten years have taken place on the cusp of a transition. Some have been in the middle of nowhere, driving to the next adventure, just the road and my wandering thoughts. The timing isn’t quite there this go ’round (I leave Boulder a couple of days after my thirtieth) but the craving that I have for the head-space of the road is strong.
I’ll get to settle out my mind and the past few months (let alone the past two years) over the long road back to Minnesota. I’ll have an entire summer on a bike to catch what the plains of Nebraska don’t. I’ll lay out my mind, map the twists and turns, and (perhaps) reorder it a touch underneath the big sky that I find so comforting.

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